


Nine Years

by maplestreet



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, F/F, is this angst? idk i'll just put angst lol, lipsoul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 05:32:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18631819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maplestreet/pseuds/maplestreet
Summary: “So have you been seeing anyone lately or…?”“Oh, nah,” Jungeun tilted her head to the side. “I’ve been single for awhile.”“Whaaat?” Jinsol said in disbelief before taking a sip of her drink. “No way. For how long?”“Nine years.”





	Nine Years

**Author's Note:**

> after repeatedly listening (and crying) to twilight, love letter and where you at, i decided to write this fic in the middle of the night (ㆁᴗㆁ✿)

Jungeun didn’t like the effect Caffe Americano had on her, but the nervousness she felt as soon as she stepped into the cafe clouded her thoughts and made her forget how much she disliked the bitter beverage.

 

She sighed, knowing full well that the shot of espresso was going to keep her up all night.

 

_Was this a good idea?_

 

Jungeun pursed her lips, the question repeating in her mind over and over again.

 

The caffeine was starting to hit and her palms grew sweatier while her leg more restless as it shook up and down. Plus, it didn’t help at all that this café was same place she met Jinsol all those years ago.

 

—

 

 _The seminar had finally ended and Jungeun was_ **_starving_ ** . _Her college organization had her assigned as one of the event staffers for the whole afternoon with no breaks in case the speakers needed assistance._

 

_She knew she had to recharge or else she was definitely going to pass out on the drive back to her apartment. And to her luck, there was a newly-opened coffee shop not so far from where she parked._

 

_“I’ll get a white chocolate—hot, please,” Jungeun takes out her wallet as the barista totals her purchase._

 

_“Alright, name?” The barista asked, black marker and paper cup in her hands._

 

_“Lip.”_

 

_The barista nods and instructs Jungeun to wait for her drink at the counter farther back._

 

_With her hip leaning at the edge of the counter, Jungeun took her phone out and saw a bunch of missed calls, messages, snaps, and Instagram Stories mentions all from Jiwoo._

 

 _Apparently, her best friend snuck into the lecture hall, took a picture of the stage, posted it on Instagram, Snapchat,_ **_and_ ** _Facebook Stories with Jungeun’s username tagged._

 

God, did she post this on all of her social media accounts? What the hell— **Myspace**?

 

_Jungeun went through so much of Jiwoo’s posts she didn’t even notice her hunger and the blonde girl standing beside her._

 

_“Hey,” Jungeun flinched at the girl’s sudden greeting._

 

 _She was more or less two inches taller than Jungeun and she was so, so,_ **_so_ ** _pretty. Jungeun swore she could be one of those big-time student celebrities._

 

_“Hi,” Jungeun greeted back. “Sorry, I didn’t see you there.”_

 

_She didn’t think the blonde could get any prettier but oh, Jungeun was so goddamn wrong when she grinned and let out a small laugh._

 

_“It’s alright. I end up in my own world too when I’m on my phone.”_

 

_“Yeah, it happens I guess,” Jungeun placed her hand at the back of her neck and smiled sheepishly. “You waiting for your order?”_

 

Dumb! Stupid! Fool! _Jungeun thought._ Of course she’s waiting for her order! She’s in line next to me for a reason!

 

_“White chocolate hot for Lip and white chocolate iced for Soul!” The barista announced the names written on each of the paper cups and set it down on the granite countertop before going back to her station._

 

_“Speak of the devil,” The blonde raised both her brows and took her cup. “And we ordered the same drink!”_

 

_“That we did,” Jungeun grabbed her cup and took a sip. “I mean, sort of. Mine’s hot and yours is iced.”_

 

_“We can always try again next time.”_

 

Wait—what next time?

_“I’m Jinsol by the way,” The girl offered her free hand to Jungeun for a handshake. “And you’re… Lip?”_

 

_Jungeun laughed and reciprocated (albeit hesitantly) Jinsol’s gesture. “Nah, Lip was just a nickname my best friend made up. I’m Jungeun.”_

 

_“Well, Jungeun. I hope to see you again sometime. Maybe then we’ll finally order the exact same drink.”_

 

_—_

 

Jungeun stopped herself from wandering deeper into her memories with Jinsol, especially since she was about to walk into the cafe.

 

She didn’t change much since Jungeun had last seen her (though, she definitely looked happier). She still had bright blonde hair flowing past her shoulders, pink lips, bright eyes—she still looked like the girl Jungeun loved.

 

_Loves._

 

“Morning,” Jinsol sat across Jungeun, a hint of uneasiness in her voice.

 

Jungeun didn’t blame her.

 

It’s been a full nine years since they’ve last communicated, it was hard to break the ice after cutting each other off for so long. Jungeun was even surprised when Jinsol somehow found her number and called to meet up.

 

“Morning,” Jungeun forces a smile, wrapping her fingers around the coffee mug partly for warmth, but mostly to keep her hands from shaking.

 

“Sorry, this was the first place I could think of,” Jinsol dragged her chair closer to the table.

 

Jungeun shakes her head. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

“So…”

 

“So.”

 

Jinsol took a deep breath and relaxed her shoulders as she exhaled. “How have you been?”

 

“I’m good,” Jungeun bobbed her head. “And you?”

 

“A little stressed lately, but it isn’t anything I can’t handle,” Jinsol managed a little smile. “How about work?”

 

The topic about careers brought back memories Jungeun hated the most, but she could tell Jinsol didn’t mean any harm by it.

 

“Work’s been alright,” Said Jungeun. “Except I had to rescue one of our mechanics’ hand when it got stuck in the propeller’s mechanism.”

 

“Yikes. Is he okay?” Jinsol scrunches her nose in disgust.  

 

“We rushed him to the ER but he’s recovering now,” Jungeun shrugged. “How’s your lab?”

 

“Pretty much the same. Paperwork, experiments, and stuff—you know the drill.”

 

“Ah,” Jungeun cocked a brow and took a sip of her drink.

 

She knew exactly what Jinsol meant—considering Jungeun experienced the stressful all-nighters Jinsol had pulled during their college days firsthand. It was exhausting but there was a silver lining of 2AM pancakes and midnight drives to the McDonald’s near their apartment.

 

“Are you sure you aren’t busy today—“

 

“No, no! It’s fine,” Jinsol reassured Jungeun.

 

“Um, do you want something to drink?”

 

“Oh, yeah—sure—I’ll just—” Jinsol stuttered, pointing towards the counter.

 

“Yeah, go ahead. You can leave your coat and stuff. I’ll look after it for you.”

 

“Thanks! I’ll be back.”

 

She found it a little sad that they ended so tragically after being in love with each other for so long, but Jungeun accepts that what happened was her fault and she regrets it.

 

Jinsol was happy now and that’s all that ever mattered to Jungeun, even though it hurt her a bit.

 

Maybe she was selfish for feeling that way. Maybe she shouldn’t feel that way at all.

 

But how can she not when five years’ worth of their relationship was thrown away just like that?

 

If Jungeun could still do something about it she _would._ But it was too late for the both of them.

 

It was too late the moment Jungeun let her ambitions consume her.

 

And up to this day, that night still haunted her.

 

—

 

_“Get the fuck away from me,” Jinsol spoke with venom in her words._

 

_“Jinsol, please. Let me explain—”_

 

 _“Explain what? That you agreed to sign up for a 3-year internship abroad without telling me?” The older girl scoffed as she looked up, trying to keep the pooling tears in her eyes from falling. “I mean, Jungeun, you_ **_know_ ** _I support you a hundred percent and_ _distance isn’t a problem for me, but the fact that you didn’t tell me about it—don’t you trust me?”_

 

_“I do! God, I do,” Jungeun took a careful step forward, reaching for Jinsol’s hand but Jinsol stepped back. “I just—”_

 

_“What, did you plan to leave me and our relationship behind? Just run away and pretend five whole fucking years didn’t happen?”_

 

_Jungeun stood in silence, unable to steady all the thoughts raging through her mind. Every word coming from Jinsol stung her too much for her to think properly._

 

_She made a mistake._

 

_And she was sure this wasn’t something easily fixed with an apology. She doesn’t even think this could be fixed at all._

 

_“Jesus fucking christ, Jungeun,” Jinsol’s voice cracked and the tears she’d been holding back trickled down her cheeks. “Did I not love you enough?”_

 

_“Jinsol…” Jungeun tried to speak, but even she couldn’t comprehend her thoughts enough to make up a sentence._

 

_“Take all your things with you,” Jinsol turned away from Jungeun, unable to face her any longer. “Get out of my life.”_

 

_—_

 

Jinsol returns with a coffee mug in one hand and her wallet in the other. A satisfied look visible on her face.

 

“What did you order?” Jungeun peeks at the mug.

 

“Caffe Americano.”

 

“We ordered the same drink.”

 

“Mhm! The exact same,” Jinsol grinned. “It’s been awhile, huh?”

 

“Yeah, I guess so. A good nine years.”

 

Jinsol probably recalled bits of the last night they were together because Jungeun saw a flicker of sadness and pain in Jinsol’s eyes for a split second. She hated seeing Jinsol like this, she hated it even more knowing she was the reason behind it.

 

“So have you been seeing anyone lately or…?”

 

“Oh, nah,” Jungeun tilted her head to the side. “I’ve been single for awhile.”

 

“ _Whaaat?_ ” Jinsol said in disbelief before taking a sip of her drink. “No way. For how long?”

 

“Nine years.”

 

Jungeun didn’t mean to say it so indifferently, but she didn’t know how else to say it.

 

After sitting in the café face-to-face for the past twenty minutes and completely ignoring each other’s existence for nearly a decade, she thought it was time to address the elephant in the room.

 

“Look, I know you didn’t call me here for small talk over coffee,” Jungeun held her breath. “So let me say the things I should have said before.”

 

Jinsol looked down at her hands, acknowledging the change of atmosphere. She lifted her eyes back up to meet Jungeun’s, gesturing her to continue.

 

“I’m sorry, Jinsol—for what I did to you all those years ago,” Jungeun’s voice shook. “You didn’t deserve that. I didn’t—I _don’t_ deserve you.”

 

It took Jungeun all her courage to look Jinsol straight in the eyes after everything she’s done. Finally facing the shame and regret that she had been running away from.

“What happened between us was… a disaster,” Jinsol said. “Even _I_ made mistakes and I want to apologize for that, too. I should’ve tried to listen to you more, but I let my anger and pride get the best of me.”

 

“You had every right to be angry at me,” Jungeun furrows her brows. “I was barely around when you needed me the most. God, I’m so sorry.”

 

“Maybe I did. But that was nine years ago, Jungeun,” Jinsol placed her hand on Jungeun’s trembling one and held it tight. “I’ve healed and you should too.”

Jungeun let out the breath she had been holding and felt the weight she’s been carrying on her shoulders for years disappear.

 

Jinsol could have blamed everything on her, could have screamed and made a scene, could have dragged Jungeun’s name through the mud and told all their friends she was such an asshole, but she didn’t. And that’s what made Jungeun feel so guilty—until this moment.

 

“It was more than enough,” Jungeun whispered shakily.

 

“What?”

 

“The way you loved me back then. It was more than enough. Honestly, I didn’t think _anyone_ would love me at all,” Jungeun laughed softly, wiping the tears in her eyes with a table napkin before they fell. “I’m sorry I couldn’t give the same love back.”

 

“Don’t say that. Everyone deserves to be loved. And hey, I already told you to move on from it! Stop saying sorry!” Jinsol teased, lifting the mood.

 

She always did know how to brighten things up.

 

“Alright, alright,” Jungeun raised both her hands in surrender.

 

“I’m glad we finally settled things between us, Jungeun.”

 

“Me, too.”

 

They locked eyes and smiled at each other. Though the spark between them has long been extinguished, Jungeun still gets the same warm feeling in her chest every time Jinsol looked at her like that.

 

Both of them stayed in the moment until a beeping noise from Jinsol’s phone broke it.

 

“Duty calls?” Jungeun asked.

 

“Well, being a parent _is_ one of the toughest jobs out there,” Jinsol glanced at the message on her handheld and gathered her things. “Keep in touch?”

 

“Definitely,” Jungeun sits up. “Say hi to Sooyoung and Chaewon for me.”

 

“I will. Chae would like to meet her auntie one day.”

 

“Yikes. ‘Auntie’.”

 

Jinsol rolled her eyes and smirked. “See you around, Jungeun.”

 

“You too, Jinsol.”

**Author's Note:**

> twt: @lovecherrylipse  
> cc: @lovecherrylipse  
> ko-fi: https://ko-fi.com/lovecherrylipse
> 
> i'd love to hear feedback! owo


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